Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Bidet-ing my time
After living for 3 years in Japan and spraying all over the country, I thought I would have used enough Japanese toilets, in all their 'squat', 'Western', and 'washlet' gadgety glory, to be able to avoid the incident I had yesterday.
Kentaro and I went for one of our regular Saturday Guam drives (guruguru Guam doraibu), and happened upon a nice Japanese golf resort in the middle of the island. It reminded us of a typical onsen resort, with its landscaped grounds, cafe-restaurant, lockers, and shoji-screen decor. Except there wasn't an onsen, boohoo.
We thought we'd spray here before leaving, and headed towards the restroom. Upon completion of business, I reached down and fumbled for the flush mechanism, my hands grasping a strangely shaped knob. I turned it, and got the surprise of my life when water came JETTING out of the bowl, completely saturating my shorts and half of my top. My first instinct was to run away, but realising that that would just create an even bigger mess, I bravely fought the jet and reached in to turn it off. I then followed my instinct, grabbed a confused Kentaro, and hastily exited the facility, leaving my water-drenched stall as a warning for its next visitor.
*blush*
Kentaro and I went for one of our regular Saturday Guam drives (guruguru Guam doraibu), and happened upon a nice Japanese golf resort in the middle of the island. It reminded us of a typical onsen resort, with its landscaped grounds, cafe-restaurant, lockers, and shoji-screen decor. Except there wasn't an onsen, boohoo.
We thought we'd spray here before leaving, and headed towards the restroom. Upon completion of business, I reached down and fumbled for the flush mechanism, my hands grasping a strangely shaped knob. I turned it, and got the surprise of my life when water came JETTING out of the bowl, completely saturating my shorts and half of my top. My first instinct was to run away, but realising that that would just create an even bigger mess, I bravely fought the jet and reached in to turn it off. I then followed my instinct, grabbed a confused Kentaro, and hastily exited the facility, leaving my water-drenched stall as a warning for its next visitor.
*blush*
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Premature Pumpkin Death
Well nobody told me that a jack-o-lantern will decompose into a soggy mess within 3 days of lighting a candle inside it!
We thought we were so ahead of the game by carving out our big pumpkin last Monday. I gutted the gourd and roasted its delectable seeds while Kentaro carved out a terrific design, and we put it, lit, on display in our window, chuffed that we were all prepared for trick-or-treaters come this Wednesday.
By yesterday the thing was growing a forest of mould inside, and the outside was buckling and seeping ooze which threatened to overflow onto the floor. It earned itself an untimely date with the dumpster. D'oh!!!
Kentaro is still armed for Wednesday night with a black cat and a truckload of candy (I will be at work, of course, leaving him to fend off the deluge of kids that will no doubt come a-knockin').
We thought we were so ahead of the game by carving out our big pumpkin last Monday. I gutted the gourd and roasted its delectable seeds while Kentaro carved out a terrific design, and we put it, lit, on display in our window, chuffed that we were all prepared for trick-or-treaters come this Wednesday.
By yesterday the thing was growing a forest of mould inside, and the outside was buckling and seeping ooze which threatened to overflow onto the floor. It earned itself an untimely date with the dumpster. D'oh!!!
Kentaro is still armed for Wednesday night with a black cat and a truckload of candy (I will be at work, of course, leaving him to fend off the deluge of kids that will no doubt come a-knockin').
Sunday, October 21, 2007
BYE BYE!!!
Thanks to my two TV ads that play every 15 minutes, 24/7 on the local 'Visitor's Channel', I have become somewhat of a reluctant celebrity on Guam.
I do a promotional spiel for 'Hafatel', a Guam-based cellphone service provider, which has me reading a very predictable script in a swimsuit top. But people almost never recognise me from this one - although a co-worker did approach me one day and stared at my cheek, wondering to himself, "Wow, she really does have a big mole there, just like the Hafatel commercial." I gave his culture the benefit of the doubt.
My other ad has me introducing the endangered ko'ko' bird, aka the 'Guam Rail', and this one is unscripted. I man-handle the little bird all throughout as I'm waffling on in Japanese, and at the end I grab its little beak and make it bow goodbye to the viewers whilst saying "Bye bye! Bye bye!" like a 2 year old. Watching it afterwards I was surprised the bird didn't try to peck my eyes out. But I guess my true personality shines through in this one, because no matter where I go, I hear:
"Oh look, it's the ko'ko' girl!"
Or better yet:
"BYE BYE!!!! BYE BYE!!!"
Piss off.
I do a promotional spiel for 'Hafatel', a Guam-based cellphone service provider, which has me reading a very predictable script in a swimsuit top. But people almost never recognise me from this one - although a co-worker did approach me one day and stared at my cheek, wondering to himself, "Wow, she really does have a big mole there, just like the Hafatel commercial." I gave his culture the benefit of the doubt.
My other ad has me introducing the endangered ko'ko' bird, aka the 'Guam Rail', and this one is unscripted. I man-handle the little bird all throughout as I'm waffling on in Japanese, and at the end I grab its little beak and make it bow goodbye to the viewers whilst saying "Bye bye! Bye bye!" like a 2 year old. Watching it afterwards I was surprised the bird didn't try to peck my eyes out. But I guess my true personality shines through in this one, because no matter where I go, I hear:
"Oh look, it's the ko'ko' girl!"
Or better yet:
"BYE BYE!!!! BYE BYE!!!"
Piss off.
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