Your cheeks will ache after this one...

Japanese toilet humour

Happy 34th Anniversary!

To my two and only.

Oh what a wonderful week!

It's fun to go to work one day and be asked, "How was your week? Anything new?" when you are able to reply:

"Yes actually, I tracked down a long-lost best friend from 17 years ago!"

Kathy was my best friend in Guam and the main reason I didn't want to leave. I don't remember crying at any time during the farewell proceedings except for when I had to say goodbye to her. We had shared the essential bonding experiences for 9/10 y.o. girls, ie stuffing men's shirts with pillows to create pretend boyfriends, dressing up in kimonos and dancing to the soundtrack of 'Disney's Electrical Parade', and the ultimate experience, watching 'Beaches' enough to feel like it was made for us. After you do those things with somebody it is very difficult to leave them.

She also left Guam and moved to Florida and we corresponded for a while but it gradually petered out.

Many times during the past 17 years I have wondered what she was doing and where she was. Then when I came to Florida in February I googled her name until I was blue in the face, and even called a few false leads to no avail.

Then last week I realised there is a much easier way to track down a human. Peoplefinders.com will charge you $9.95 to retrieve somebody's telephone number with no questions asked! Alright! I gladly forked out, and the next thing I knew I had reestablished contact with Kathy!

She is as cute and wonderful as ever and is still in Florida (though at the end furthest from me, a good 10 hour drive!) so we are making plans to meet up in the future.

Yay!

Typhoon Lagoon!!!

On Sunday after feasting on a $3.99 all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet where the quantity of donuts made up for the quality of the scrambled eggs, we heaved our bloated bods into bikinis and boardshorts and headed to Typhoon Lagoon. For 4 hours we were crushed, plunged, jetted and gushed by all kinds of waterslides until all we could do was drive to the nearest sports bar and get stuck into a dozen wings and a bayou & bleu burger. Whew!!!

Just a spoonful of sake makes the Disney go down...

Today we drove up to Orlando, the home of the Happiest Celebration on Earth TM, to do a sake tasting at a 'Japanese-style' Restaurant.

Folks around these parts care not about the finer details of authenticity when it comes to things oriental. Japanese restaurants are run by Thais, Thai restaurants by Vietnamese, and Chinese restaurants by - well, I haven't seen anybody pretend to be Chinese before but it could be out there. The interiors of these restaurants are as 'Asian Fusion' as you can get, with big buddha statues next to Zen-inspired water fountains and random kanji inscribed on antiqued scrolls hung from bamboo rafters. Throw in a gaudy mural of Mt Fuji and Tanaka's your uncle.

The sushi chefs will often introduce themselves with a 'Hi, my name is Got and I'm from Japan,' and show little embarrassment retracting their nationality when Kentaro questions them in Japanese. The locals couldn't care less as long as they get their Lobster Bombs, Mexican Spiders and Dragon Rolls, which are essentially sushi rolls created to suit American tastebuds. They're easy to make. You first create a normal sushi roll, and the quality of the fish doesn't matter too much because next you deep-fry it and smother it in mayonnaise and sweet sauce. "I LOVE Japanese food, it's SO LIGHT!" choruses around the room and Got smiles because he knows what he's doing.

After the tasting was finished we went to Downtown Disney and amused ourselves freaking out the Japanese tourists. We don't tend to get many in South Florida so were pleased to be able to perform our little show, in which I only speak really loud Japanese, as fast and colloquial as possible, and Kentaro only replies in English. This causes double, triple and quadruple takes by the bamboozled Japanese tourists (the other tourists couldn't care less and probably figure I'm talking Spanish), who stare at me like I stare at the tourists over 400 pounds covered in tattoos. There was one of them actually though he would have only been a measly 300 pounds, and he was covered in DISNEY tattoos complete with a Mickey Mouse shaved into the back of his head. Kentaro wanted to take a picture but I didn't want to break the camera.

***AND DEAR LORD I JUST GOOGLED FOR THIS GUY AND FOUND HIM - SO HERE FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE IS THE 'DISNEY TATTOO GUY'***

Hmmm I have nothing more to say after reading his website. Bye.

For Goodness Sake!

Over the past 4 months I have spent living with Kentaro, we have attended a number of sake tasting events at which we get to educate the American public about the wonders of fermented rice.

The people we have met at these events are usually already a bit tipsy having consumed the wine available at neighbouring booths, and typically fall into two categories: those who exclaim at the top of their lungs, ''SAKE!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWW!!!!! GROSSSSS!!!!", or those who exclaim at the top of their lungs, "SAKE!!!!!! ALLLL RIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!"

Australia tres, Japon uno!!!

"Like bananas and smurfs in a blender" *

So are the Socceroos versus the Blue Samurais in the World Cup.

What with all my Aussie friends around the world harping on about this game I thought I'd at least try to find it on the TV and wasn't hopeful seeing as we don't have cable.

But I found it! The reception is awful and the commentary in Spanish but it's not gonna stop me from whooping the obligatory war cry as I watch the game in my undies on this rainy Monday morning.

Wonder if I can get the birdies to join me... 'Oi oi oi!!!'

*Quote by Gemma of Maebashi.

Here today, Guam tomorrow

Chasing birds and frozen custard

We visited Green Cay Wetlands the other day, which is an area run by the local sewage treatment authorities but is surprisingly beautiful and just a stone's throw from where we live. A few acres of wetlands is circumnavigated by an elevated boardwalk from which you can spot the local fauna. Oh the animal watching down here is so much more lovely than the people watching! There were heaps of herons, tons of turtles, and even though we visited during daytime we were lucky enough to spot an alligator surfacing for a midday snack. 'Twas fine family fun for all.

Today we had another typical Florida day - a sleep-in, followed by a big cooked brekkie, a trip to the local veggie markets, and an ice cream on the way home. 'So thick we serve it to you upside down!' is the boastful slogan of Ritter's Glaciers. We had ours done Butterfinger style.

I miss this kinda TV

What with all the sleazy talk shows and nasty news reports available 24/7, it was nice to flick to Japan and remember that innocent, hilarious TV is still out there!